I know my child…

I am so frustrated with the school system right now, I could cry.

And I did…

And I felt better…

And then I got angry and took matters in to my own hands…

Let me back up a bit before you totally think I’ve gone off the deep end…

Matthew is struggling. He’s been struggling for years. And for years, I’ve told the school system my concerns. And for years they told me if would get better.

Guess what?

It hasn’t.

This summer some new issues were brought to light. He’s having trouble memorizing things, learning things, etc. At the same time, the kid is highly intelligent. He loves to learn. Of all the books he could pick at the library, he picked one on 20th Century History. And then proceeded to tell me all about it. And some of the things were things I didn’t even know.

So, I was caught in a quandary. His standardized tests show that he’s a really smart kid — with advanced proficiency or perfect scores.

His grades?

Whole ‘nother story. They just don’t match.

One might think that he was just lazy and doesn’t apply himself. But I see him sit here at night with his homework and it’s not laziness. The kid has virtually no time to play between homework and football but he doesn’t give up. He keeps plugging away and we struggle.

The meltdowns are almost nightly. So I started logging what we were doing when the meltdowns occurred.

It all comes back to writing (and spelling and multiplication tables — memorization).

The frustration comes, I know, because we drill and we drill and we drill and he can’t repeat the answers back to me. Or that he can tell me what he wants to write, but he can’t seem to get it out on paper. And when we finally do get it to the paper? Well, let’s just say that Samara’s stuff is better.

Now, I don’t like to compare children. They learn differently. Samara is like me. Matthew is like my brother. He struggled and worked hard to get Cs where I just showed up and for the most part could get an A.

It proves frustrating to Matthew to see Sam running around here after school, not a care in the world and perfect grades and he’s busting his tail with a C as his “reward”.

This year, I decided that I was going for answers.

So I met with the 5th grade teachers and expressed my concerns. They weren’t as concerned. They kept telling me that he was a great kid (and he is, no doubt) and that they would work on all those concerns this year. His spelling test went from having to write the words to having circle the correct one out of three. It’s think it’s doing him a disservice.

The school’s response? In this day in age, with computers, spell check will tell you it’s wrong and you only have to know which word is the right word.

After finding out what my rights are as a parent with the school, I requested a child study. And I met with 9 people on Monday. All of them said that he was a smart kid, a good kid, and that nothing was wrong.

During this meeting, my flip flop broke. Not all the way, but enough to where I could notice. At one point in time, I was ready to stand up and just leave. But I didn’t because I was too afraid that my shoe would go flying and when I left, I wanted to leave with some sort of dignity.

As it turns out, it broke the rest of the way and when I left, I limped to the car so that my shoe would stay on, tears forming in my eyes.

I know my child.

I know something’s wrong.

They don’t seem to think so.

Yesterday morning, I got on the horn and started calling tutoring places. They all agreed, based on what I was telling them, that there’s a processing problem. Whether this is emotional or a true block, I don’t know… but it’s there.

I set up an appointment for him to be tested — and I’m paying for it out of my own pocket.

I set up an appointment for him with a counselor — even though I have expressed to the guidance counselor at school my concerns about his emotional state — and I’m paying for it out of my own pocket.

I’m going to help this child. He starts middle school next year and if he’s not set up for success, he’s going to struggle.

I know my child.

Matthew is excited about the testing. He wants to know how to make it better too. He knows that he’s struggling. He knows that he’s in for some tough days ahead to get him back on track. The fact that he’s bought into this tells me that I’m right — there’s something wrong.

Because I know my child.

And I don’t like it when people doubt my abilities as a mother.

And I just stop and think about the big push for “No child left behind”… when right here in Roanoke, VA they’re trying to leave behind a kid who had a great chance of doing something phenomenal for the world.

And I’m not going to let them.

Until next time…

Heather