Today, actually in one hour, I’m taking my daughter to the doctor to discuss ADHD and what my next step is.
No, I didn’t like the medicinal route that the counselor kept pushing on us. Specifically because he was unwilling to discuss any other options.
So, I looked into other options, and what I know is, we need to do something.
I also know that what I’m doing? Isn’t working.
This seems like the next step in the process.
I have determined that part of my resistance of medication in any form is the feeling of failing as a mother. Yes, I know that there are many children out there who have true ADHD and need the help of the medication to get by and life and that I don’t think any less of their parents. I don’t look down upon their choice to medicate their children and I don’t think they are horrible parents because of it.
But for me? Oh this is admitting a huge failure on my part, that I can’t control this, and I can’t make it better.
Well, I should say that it was… no, it still is.
As a mother, I want to be able to take care of things, and fix things, and have control over what’s going on. All too many times, I’ve been stopped short… there are walls in front of me. In the past, I’ve just grabbed my sledge hammer and started the process of destroying the wall… more often than not, only to find a bigger and stronger wall behind it.
Perhaps I’ve finally seen that in all this time, while I’ve been destroying the walls, I didn’t stop long enough to take inventory of the situation. I didn’t take the time to see that if I just went a little to the left… or a little to the right… that I could simply walk around the wall.
I’ve spent 30 years of my life doing things the hard way… because pride gets in my way. I’ve busted down many walls when I could’ve just walked around.
It’s time for me to get over myself and do what needs to be done… for my children.
Maybe that’s medicine.
And maybe it’s not.
But today, I’ll have some answers… and perhaps, some hope that we can get things straight around here.
I don’t want the loose stones from the walls that I am destroying to hit either one of my babies and hurt them in the process.
Until next time…
Heather
Hey Heather! Just wondering how your daughter’s appt. went today. My ten year old has ADHD…did I tell you that already? He was diagnosed when he was 6. He’s been on meds ever since. Stop by my ADHD & LD Blog some time: http://www.adhdguide.blogspot.com. Email me any time if you want to chat about it.