Boundaries

When I started my blog, I instated a few personal boundaries primarily because this is the internet.  But those boundaries were simply that I would be me, but that I would never post anything that could potentially hurt feelings, be an embarrassment (outside of the normal fun) to anyone, or anything that would jeapordize relationships with people who I am involved with both personally and professionally.

I don’t have a fake name.  I don’t have cutesy nicknames for my children.  We’re an open book and I like that because it’s authentic.  It’s real.  I’m real.  So is my life.  So are my feelings, thoughts and emotions.

And I proudly share them with you.

Not just the good ones either… I’ve shared the bad as well, but never those that would infringe upon the boundaries stated above.

Are there people that I work with that I want to complain about? Oh.my.word… YES!

Are there parents at the school, on the ball field, or in the neighborhood that I want to ream out over my blog. Of course…

Are there people at church that I have severe issues with?  Yes here too….  (Pastor Man, don’t worry, it’s not you.)

Having boundaries and being real are hard to balance and I think that I’ve done a pretty good job at it.  And balance?

It’s not something that I excel in.

But there are days, like today, when I wish this WAS an anonymous blog.  There are days when I wish that no one knew the mother/daughter/sister/parishoner/employee/co-worker/friend/coach behind this blog.  I wish that I could write what I really wanted to, the exact thoughts on my mind, exactly how I am feeling.

But I can’t because it would be a failure on my part to adhere to the boundaries that I set, and for good reason.

But the nice thing about those boundaries… they allow me not to sin in word.  (Let’s set aside the thought part right now… and maybe the deed… but by word?  Oh I would DEFINATELY, beyond a shadow of a doubt, be sinning in word.)

And what I didn’t realize at the time that I implemented those boundaries is that they would save me from this sin, the hurt that I might cause someone, or the can of worms that I could potentially open.

And I am grateful that I can refrain, somewhat from those words.  I am proud that I can use this blog as a testimony of sorts.

But some of these stories about people in my life that I would talk about are so ridicously funny that you would pee your pants, or spit soda out of your mouth, or maybe your nose.  They are just so insane that you would think that I was making it up.  And I so BADLY want to share them with you.  Oh you just don’t know how bad I want to.

But I won’t.

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. James 3:9-10 (NIV)

Because I can’t.  Not in good conscious.  Not with the same mouth that I praise God with.

But I have this whole post crafted in my head.  And it’s funny.  And sad.  It would make you laugh.  And cry.  It would make you angry, but empower you.  It would show my weaknesses and my strengths and how they mesh with those around me.

And if I were to share it?

It would end like this…

SUCKAH!!!!!!!!!!!!