What Is Love?

Found this meme over at Second Hand Karl… don’t ask me why I’m doing it… I’m bored, maybe?  Oh no, wait… it’s because I over slept and missed church and thought that I would use this time to load up blog posts for the week so that I could remain productive.

photo credit: Beth ♥ s Boston

What does true love mean to you?

Hmmm…. true love?  I think, to me, this is when you love someone so much that you would risk your life for them.  It’s loving someone despite the times that they hurt you.  It’s unconditional.  It’s rare.

How do you know if you’re really in love?

Who knows?  I’m still trying to figure that all out…lol.  No, I’m kidding.  I think that you know when you can sit together and be silent and it not be awkward.  Moreover, it’s when you can fart in front of someone and not be MORTIFIED.  It’s when their annoying little nuances don’t bother you and you start to find them endearing.  It’s when you miss them when they are gone and start putting them infront of you…. and not being resentful about it.

How many times in your life have you fallen in love?

I’m embarrassed to say that it’s been more times than I can count.  There was a time that I would question whether or not that I was in love AFTER the relationship ended, but the reality of it is, I was.  Because if I wasn’t?  It wouldn’t have HURT as bad as it did.

Have you ever fell out of true love because you were mad in the moment?

No, but I’ve been accused of doing so.  I was told that I flipped my switch after one event, but I had to retort with, “just because I’m mad, doesn’t mean that I don’t love you.  Just because I can’t stand the sight of you right now doesn’t mean that I stopped loving you.”  I can be mad at someone and still love them.  Shoot, let’s take the last boyfriend… despite the way that he hurt me… despite the fact at the way things ended, I was still in love with him for MONTHS.. and if there was ever a time that I WISH I could flip the switch, that would be the time.  And let’s be honest, there’s a big difference between being IN LOVE and LOVING someone.

Do you feel love and physical attraction are the same thing?

No way.  I love people that I am not physically attracted to and I am physically attracted to people that I don’t love.  I do think that often times, people are blinded by physical attraction and think that they are in love.  It’s easy to get caught up there.  When i’m unsure, I ask myself, if this person lost a limb or was badly scared or gained 300 pounds, would I still want to be around this person?  If the answer is yes, then it’s a pretty safe bet that it’s not just physical attraction.

If your true love became ill or disfigured would you continue to love them the same way?

Gee, maybe I should read all the questions first.  I’m so bad about getting ahead of the meme and answering things in other questions that deserve their own answer.

If this person is really my TRUE love, then yes, I would continue to love them in the same way.  Sometimes this scares me, as I can be shallow and vain at times.  (Confessions!!!)  But, like I said before when I can’t determine whether or not I’m in love or lust, this is the question that I ask myself.  Sometimes I don’t like the answers.

Should anyone else be able to tell you who to love or not love?

Who are you to tell me who I should and shouldn’t love?  Who are you to tell me how I feel in my heart?  No offense to anyone who might have told me stuff in the past, but I don’t care if you do know they are going to break my heart, you can’t control how I feel.  You just can’t.  I can’t flip the switch and stop loving them.  Additionally, I can’t turn it on when you introduce me to someone that you think I should love.

I know that people have my best interests in minds, but you don’t control my emotions.  Please, by all means offer advice.  But don’t tell me who I can and can’t love and don’t stop talking to me because I don’t love who you want me to.

Do you believe people that ended up divorced were ever truly in love?

Yes.  I do.  But I think they were lacking important keys to making the marriage last.  Marriage is work.  I used to think that all you needed was love and you would make it far, but I learned that you need more than just love.  Love will only take you so far.  In fact, one of my boyfriends and I discovered this at the same time.  It didn’t matter that we loved one another immensely… we needed more.  We both needed to make sacrifices that we weren’t willing to make.

You need more than love to keep a marriage going.

Would you give up something you want for someone you love?

I would like to say yes.  Note, that I said I would like.  And chances are, because I’m not a confrontational person and because I’m a people person, I probably would… but resentment would follow.  I do believe that someone who loves me wouldn’t ask me to give up something that I love.

Like blogging.  I would fight the good fight if someone I loved asked me to give up blogging.  I would hope that the person I loved would never ask me to give it up, but I probably would, and then I would resent them.

But for the most part, I would would give something up.  I’m hoping that the person I love immensely at one point in time tells me that I need to give up dishes… or laundry… or cleaning.  I would GLADLY give those up!

If you truly love someone do you feel it should be unconditional?

It should, but is it?  Seriously.  Is it?  I think everything comes with conditions and it sucks.  The only unconditional love that I am confident of is that of the love that God has for me and the love that I have for my children.  I don’t care WHAT they do, I will ALWAYS love them.  I may not like what they are doing, but it won’t change my love for them.

Someone please remind me of this when they are 18.

I’m not tagging anyone…but if you want to play along, please feel free… leave your name in the comments

and I’ll be sure to pop over and check out you answers!

Until next time…