An Ode To Heather’s Cooking Skills

Welcome Heather who’s manning the store for me today…

Heather readily admits that she’s a bad cook.  Her son Matthew even makes fun of her cooking.  So when this came across my e-mail, I immediately thought of her.

When she asked for guest bloggers to fill in while she’s away, I knew this would be the perfect post to share with her readers.  If I posted this on my blog, only she and I would enjoy it.  Now, we can all enjoy laughing at with Heather.

Ironically, when I let Heather know that I had the “perfect” post to share with her wonderful readers, I commented that “no, it’s not about  NKOTB, but good guess!”  She e-mailed to say that a post about NKOTB would be awesome,”not that what you have cooked up wouldn’t be!”  Cooked up!  Ha!  How funny!

So here’s to you, Heather.  An Ode to Your Cooking Skills.

Your kitchen’s been on fire more than once.

You have the fire department on speed dial.

Your apple pie bubbled over and ate through your heating element.

Your homemade bread is used as a door stop.

Leftover crumbs can be used as kitty litter replacement.

You forgot that you left a gallon of your homemade ice cream on the porch during a record-setting heat wave and the next day not only was it still solid, but it tasted better.

The EPA requires you to put bio-hazard symbols on your trash cans.

Your family buys Alka Seltzer and Pepto Bismol in bulk.

Your microwave display says “TILT.”

Your two best recipes are meatloaf and apple pie, but no one can tell which is which.

Your family heads to the dining room table every time they hear a fire engine siren.

You’ve used a drill and a crowbar, and *still* can’t get the macaroni and cheese out of the pan.

Your family prays AFTER the meal.

***

Now, go see Heather, because she’s funny… and I just find it funny that people would get something in their email and think of me… or that this situation played out as well as it did…

and don’t forget, all comments left on guest blogger’s posts gets you a chance to win a copy of More Than It Hurts You by Darin Strauss.

Until next time…