So… About BlogHer…

Last night, M and I were talking about feeling old. I’m 31. He’s 30 (which he’s very quick to remind me of how I am older than him — a whopping 13 months.)

We’re not old by any stretch of the means even if I am a middle school mom.

But we were talking about how when we were younger we did impulsive things, we did things out of the ordinary and now, we don’t. We work, we hang with the kids, we run errands, we grocery shop, we take the kids’ to practices… ordinary stuff. Never impulsive.

Not that it’s a bad thing but the more I thought about it, I can see how the lack of flying by the seat of your pants might make you feel old.

Going to BlogHer was pretty impulsive for me. The decision was made in about 30 minutes and the majority of the plans were finalized within an hour. A week later the fear set it with “what in the world am I doing?”

I’m going to go to San Francisco alone.

I’m going to be around 1,000 other bloggers. Ones that I don’t know.

Panic sets in.

People don’t understand that about me. I am very talkative. But I shut down with fear if I have to approach someone and talk to them first. I hate to call people I don’t know on the phone. I don’t like to summon the waiter over to ask him/her for a refill or to tell them that my meal is not prepared the way that I asked.

Paralyzing almost.

And no one believes this about me until they are around me for any length of time.

All of my best friends? They all spoke to me first. They went out of their way to reach out to me, because I’m slightly introverted. I prefer to keep to myself.

Now, once I get to where I’m going, I have a great time. But if I have to choose between sitting at home or going out, I’d choose, more often than not to sit at home.

So, I’m going to BlogHer. With 1,000 other bloggers.

And this trip is way out of my comfort zone on so many levels.

For example, I travel alot for work. But I know where I’m going and I know people where I’m going. The flights are never longer than an hour and the airports are nice places (which I now know like the back of my hand.)

This trip adds three more airports to my list, of which I’ve never been to. I don’t know how they are laid out. Not that I can’t figure it out when I get there, but I like to be in the know. It’s a control thing, I know.

On top of that, the second flight is almost six hours. FIVE HOURS AND FORTY-ONE MINUTES. Can you please tell me what I’m going to do for all that time? Yes, I know read. But there’s only so much reading I can do.

I could watch a movie on the laptop or write but the battery will last me at most, two hours.

And I don’t know who you get to sit next to on the plane, but I ALWAYS get stuck next to someone who has no concept of personal space or who hogs the arm rest, snores or smells. For an hour, I can suffer through that. For SIX hours? I don’t know.

Why did I not think about the length of this trip before I booked my trip? It might have been enough for me to stay home. I can’t sit still for that long. I’ll have to use the facilities at some point in time and I hate that. I’ve had to do it in the past, but every time I enter the airplane bathrooms, I simply cannot figure out how anyone could have sex there.

I know. Random. Weird. That’s me.

Sally’s picking me up from the airport. I have never met Sally but I’ve known her for at least two years. I’ve talked to her on the phone many times. She knows me on a personal and professional level. But I’ve never met her. I know that I’ll be fine. And I’m looking forward to finally meeting her in person.

OH! And we get to drive OVER the Golden Gate Bridge Thursday night! I am SO excited. I don’t get to just SEE it, I get to DRIVE over it. Dork.

I’ve talked myself into working on talking to people first. I’m going to make a conscious effort. I WANT to work on this. (Plus I’ve realized that I am one of 1,000… if I don’t talk to someone first, I’m going to get lost in the crowd and if I don’t meet people then why am I even going?)

But here’s the kicker.

I’ve decided to stay in the city Friday night because I didn’t want to be a burden on Sally and her family and expecting her to arrange for me to get to and fro. I’m staying at the Hostel which is right down the street from the Westin. It’s a block. I can walk. There are other bloggers who will be staying there.

But I’m staying in a DORM room. Meaning there will be 3 other people within this room that I do not know. Three other people in this room that probably are not participating in BlogHer. I’ve got NO choice but to interact with people that I don’t know.

At first, I was freaking out.

But now?

I’m looking forward to the adventure.

and if you’re at BlogHer… do me a favor and just come up to say hi. Don’t wait for me. You can’t miss me. I’m the one with toes painted in St. Petersburgandy and hair that is in desperate need of a hair cut, but I didn’t get a chance to get that done before I left… and more likely than not, I’ll have jeans on. Because I stopped stressing over what to wear yesterday. I am coming to BlogHer as me.

Look out San Francisco… this youngin’s coming to town…

Until next time…