God or satan?

So you know I’m a youth leader, right?  The fries hanging out of my nose and ears in pictures posted prior give it away, right?  (Either that or you think that I’m a total whack job.  Ok, so you might be right about that one.)

Anywho, I’m a youth leader.  I’ve been one for two years now and I have a great group of kids that I work with and I’ve been honest with them about my lack of faith here of late.  I’ve always been honest with them.  They just want someone who is real and I’m about as real as real can be with them.  Sometimes, I think I might be too real, bu oh well.  No parents have asked to have me removed yet, so I guess I’m okay.

So, we got a new youth pastor in April.  It was a relief.  I was burnt out.  It wasn’t enjoyable to me and since the new youth pastor is here and we don’t have Sunday services for the summer, I’m out of the teaching loop until September.  Which is okay.  I’ve really not been into it.  I really just haven’t felt like I have any business ministering to kids in the spiritual condition I was in.

But the new youth pastor is away getting married and therefore, I volunteered to fill in.  I was actually excited tonight.  I had an AWESOME lesson prepared called "Broken Will: My Will or Thy Will."  I actually was prepared to teach it a few weeks ago and ended up having just one student so we went to the fair instead.

So, I skip eating tonight so I can look over it some more.  It’s a total lesson that I need.  I was getting more and more excited about the lesson and headed off to church.

But when I got there?

Matthew was my only kid.

I was bummed.

I walked into the sanctuary and stated, "well, I guess the devil doesn’t want me to teach this lesson.  This is the second time that I’ve been prepared to teach it and no one has shown up."  I even stated the same on my facebook page.

Later in the evening, I was telling one of the men that attend my church about it.  He’s a pastor just not pastoring our church but he’s a wonderful man of God and an accountability partner for me.  He’s also my shrink.  Except I don’t pay him.  I kind of just dump on him everytime he asks me how I am.  But at least he listens.  I really don’t think he’s figured out what to do with me yet, but he can put up with me.

So anyway, I’m telling PB about this lesson and how it was one that I needed to hear to and how I didn’t eat, yadda yadda yadda and all about how satan doesn’t want me to teach it and basically going on and on not letting him get a word in when he finally stops me.  (He’s real good about stopping me just at the right time and throwing my brain a curveball that will make me think for days… sometimes weeks.  Yup.  He’s that good.)

But he stops me and says, "Maybe it was God who was delaying it so that you could keep going over the lesson."

"Say what?"  I was floored.

"Maybe God knows that you need that lesson too so He’s giving you extra time to prepare; to read over it.  You know, so that it sinks in."

Except he was much more eloquent than I quoted him because that’s just the way PB is.

So I sat there.  I had to chew on that one for a bit.

I’m still chewing on it.  But I think maybe PB is right.

I’m going to continue preparing for this lesson… I’m going to continue studying about how everything should be in His will and not mine… and when it comes time to teach those kids about it?

I’m gonna knock it out of the park.

And mean it.

So let’s pray for some more kids next Wednesday…if it’s in God’s will, that is…

Until next time…