Our Adventures At The Mall…

I think I mentioned that the boy and Samara went out shopping for me for new clothes for Christmas.  I think I might also have mentioned that some of them didn’t quite fit right.  Apparently, they feel that I am a lot slimmer than I actually am.  And really?  Why would they know I have more rolls than the Pilsbury Doughboy?  I’m good at hiding them with the over sized sweaters that I love so much.

But bless their hearts.  They did do a good job and the pants that they picked out?  Awesome.  I loved them so much that when I took back the sweater and tank top to Old Navy, I bought another pair.

But I kept hearing from Sam about how much the boy embarrassed her at the mall.  I know he can be a joker and a kidder, but I guess I didn’t really get it until I put myself in the same situation.

We’ve had no kids this week.  It’s been nice but a little on the quiet side and truth be told, I’m looking forward to all of them coming home tonight and tomorrow so I can hear about their week.  The boy and I spent a lot of time on home improvement projects and the like but last night he was ADAMENT about taking the night off to spend with me.

The plan?

We were going out to dinner and to the mall to exchange the things that I got for Christmas and spend a few gift cards.  I told him that he didn’t have to go with me.  I personally hate to shop.  I hate to try things on.  I hate the mall in general.  So going with him seemed like a good idea.  We always have a good time, no matter the situation.

First stop?  Bath and Body.  It wasn’t that I didn’t like the scent that they picked out.  Wild Honeysuckle has been my staple for a few years now.  It was that EVERYONE gets me that so I have a bunch stock piled in the closet.  But they also got me a new scent, PS I love you.  (I know, go ahead, gag.)  I really like it.  So does the boy.  So I took back what they got me and got the new stuff.

That was easy.

On the agenda was New York and Company, Bolton’s, and Old Navy.  My plan was to see if there was anything else that I wanted to exchange the items for and if not, I was taking the cash and heading to Payless.  They were having a big sale.  I might not like clothes shopping, but shoe shopping?  Entirely different story.

I looked through New York and Co.  I didn’t see anything that screamed “buy me” but then again, I normally don’t.  I did learn that leggings (and stirrups) as well as ruffles are back in style.

No thank you.

I was just about to tell him that I would just get the money back when the boy approaches the sales girl standing there.

“Excuse me, ma’am,” he started.  He then pointed at me.  “We need to get her looking less like a mom.  Do you think you could suggest a few things?”

I wanted the floor to open and swallow me whole.

This girl was going to be another Sam, picking out all these things that 20 something year old wear and have me looking like a street walker.  She asked me what colors I liked and I told her… black and green.  The boy piped in with “we don’t need any more of that.”

So she took me through the store.  I kept telling her that mediums were going to be too small.  She kept telling me that the larges would be too big.  She kept telling me these things could be worn with leggings.  I kept telling her that I didn’t wish to go back to that point in time in my life.

By the time she was done, I had a stack of tops to try on so I headed back to the dressing room.  Between her and the boy, they had dressed me very much not like a mom.

I tried all of the things on while the boy sat patiently outside of the dressing room, waiting for me to come out and model what they had selected for me.

Everything was a hit… except the purple and black plaid shirt with the ruffles.  The lady at the store and the boy LOVED it.  I mean, LOVED it. Me?

The ruffles were way too much.  And the fact that the label said the fabric was the new, sexy flannel.  I just couldn’t get in to it.

And those mediums.

I hate to admit it, but some of them did fit.  The larges made me look like I was wearing a burlap sack.

But this one sweater she picked out, when I tried it on, I didn’t know what to do with it.  I slowly opened the door to motion to the boy.  “My boobs are falling out,” I said.  Trying to cover myself while I talked to him.  “And I’m not sure what to do with this,” I said as I used my other hand to motion over the bottom of my sweater.  I wasn’t sure if it was to sit on my hips or higher.

“Hold on,” he said.  “I’ll get the sales lady.”  And off he went.

When she came back to the dressing room, I looked at her and said, “I’m not sure how this works.  Does this sweater come with and operator’s manual?”

I wasn’t trying to be funny, but I think that if I’m going to purchase a sweater, I should know what to do with it.  In my mind, that’s put it on.  I don’t think that I should have to adjust, blouse, adjust, etc.

She came in and fixed it for me and both she and the boy deemed it a winner.

Ok, so I did too.

It’s now hanging in my closet.

I just hope I remember how she adjusted it and I’m thankful the boy bought be some cami’s too while shopping, because this sweater will require one.

When all was said and done, I walked out of there with 5 new tops that I like and the boy loves.  That’s three more than I exchanged.  And since these were all for work, I’m thinking I can look halfway decent now.

Then we walked up to Bolton’s.  Of course, I had to stop him from embarrassing me again, but the sales lady there just fell in love with Mr. Charm and we spent more time talking to them than we did actually shopping.  But Bolton’s wasn’t hard.  They got me a sweater from there that I loved, so I just took back the skirt and bought the same sweater in a different color.

We left there and headed to Old Navy.  That wasn’t hard either.  I got more pants.  I had no idea that I love the perfect khaki’s, but I do.  They’re perfect.

And then?  Off to dinner.

After dinner, which was PHENOMINAL, we headed to target.  We had a whopping 15 minutes to shop, but I needed belts.  So I got two.  A brown and a black one because Heaven forbid they would have a reversible one.  Sometimes I don’t understand why designers think all women are real girly girl and not so practical.

Because I?

Only need a belt to hold my britches up.  I don’t need one that sparkles or makes a statement.  It’s purely for the use that it was intended for.  So my pants don’t sag.

All in all, it was a good night.  I know the boy likes to laugh and joke and have a good time.  I know that we are a spectacle any time we go somewhere.  I know that people laugh at us.

That’s okay.

I’m still just tickled pink that (a) he bought me clothes for Christmas, (b) he cared enough to get me the good stuff, (c) he doesn’t see me as just a mom, (d) he was adamanet about spending the evening with me, and (e) he went shopping with me and (e 1/2) he appeared to have a good time.

He’s got his downfalls, don’t get me wrong, as do I.  But on the whole?

He’s a keeper.

Until next time…