Ups and Downs

It’s been almost two years since I shared my testimony here. And I’m glad that I, on a whim, decided to share it again.

I’m not one to stand on my soap box and preach about the Good News or shove it down throats, but I do feel that it’s important to let people know where I’m coming from…and why.

That whole story that I shared with you was life changing. Despite the craptacular times I’m going through and have been through, I don’t want to know what they would’ve been like without Christ on my side.

I don’t want to think about the choices that I could’ve made, the wrongs that I could’ve done, the yesses that should’ve been no’s.

In the last two years I’ve had times where I’ve been running around with Jesus flames shooting out of my butt. (Heh. Now there’s a visual.)

And there have been times that I have begged the question, “Where are you God?”

And sometimes, I’ve ridden the fence.

I have had my ups.

I have had my downs.

I have been tried.

I have been tested.

But I am still standing.

Did you hear me?

I AM STILL STANDING.

Not only am I still standing, but I’m standing with Christ by my side and it still baffles me…

Why on earth would he continue to stand by me after the things that I have done; the things that I have said?

Because He is.

Floors me every time.

He loves me. He forgives me.

And that?

It’s what keeps me going.

And even though I’ve been in a pit, I see his outstretched, nail-pierced hand… reaching for mine…

And I’m reaching back.

I have a new song that I’ve been holding on to very closely that I will share with you…

He Is With You – Mandisa
(if you can’t watch the videos, at least read the lyrics….please? for me? thanks much.)

There’s a time to live
And a time to die
There’s a time to laugh
And a time to cry

There’s a time for war
And a time for peace
There’s a hand to hold
In the worst of things
In the worst of things

He is with you when your faith is dead
And you can’t even get out of bed
Or your husband doesn’t kiss you anymore
He is with you when your baby’s gone
And your house is still
And your hearts are stone
Crying “God what’d you do that for?”
He is with you

There’s a time for yes
And a time for no
There’s a time to be angry
And a time to let it go
There’s a time to run
And a time to face it
There’s love to seek
In all of this
Through all of this

He is with you in the conference room
When the world is coming down on you
And your wife and kids don’t know you anymore
And He is with you in the ICU when the doctors don’t know what to do
And it scares you to the core
He is with you

We may weep for a time but joy will come in the morning
The morning light

He is with you when your kids are grown
When there’s too much space and you feel alone
And your worried if you got it right or wrong
Yes He is with you when you’ve given up on ever finding your true love
Someone who feels like home
He is with you

When nothing else is left and you take your final breath
He is with you