Running

Let’s be real.

Some days the thought of getting in the car, driving as far away as humanly possible, and never looking back is overly appealing.

Can I get an Amen?

Thank you.

I know that I am not alone in this.  Mothers and fathers everywhere are trying to do everything in their power to make things run smoothly, make sure people are where they need to be, bills are paid, the job is getting done, while still attempting to have some kind of life at the same time.

Most days?

It’s okay.

And then there are days…

I had one yesterday. I didn’t do anything right.  I lost my cool.  I’m not sure I even had my cool to begin with.  My words wouldn’t come to me in a manner that they should’ve or that I wanted them to.  I was misunderstood.  It got to the point that muting myself was the only thing I could do.

I was so tired.  I just wanted to go home, go to bed, and pretend that it never happened; to start over fresh this morning.  But when I got in the bed, my mind was still going over all of the things that I said, didn’t say, did and didn’t do.  It was like a movie of my day, set on loop, and it wouldn’t stop.

I woke up this morning with the same reel playing.

Fortunately, life started moving and I was able to hit stop.  Or maybe it’s just on pause.

I am blessed beyond measure as I awoke today to a prayer for me on Twitter.  I cannot begin to tell you how that made me feel.  That through the use of social media, I met someone here in Roanoke, had the chance to meet her in person last week, and because of a tweet that I sent, she was compelled to pray for me and share with me.

The words that I’ve received from others have been a comfort…on days when I feel like no one cares, I can reach out and see that people do care.  (Please note:  I’m not saying that people in my direct life DON’T care, I’m simply stating that there are days where I misconstrue things.  There are days that I feel very unappreciated, even though the boy typically does a very good job at lifting me up and encouraging me.)

I would never run.  The life I would leave behind, while challenging at times, is one that I wouldn’t trade for anything.  In my dreams, I pictured all of this.  (ok, I had more money, wasn’t living paycheck to paycheck and was 50lbs lighter…) and this is the life that I want.

But some days?

Running away is very appealing.

Of course, going back to the fact that I don’t have any money means I wouldn’t get too terribly far.

And that’s okay.

Until next time…